Today, I am so excited to share my birth story. Although pretty much every single part of my labor and delivery experience was completely opposite of what I expected, I am so proud of my birth story! I read countless birth stories online when I was preparing for my delivery, and they were enormously helpful to me. I’m sharing my own experience in hopes that it can be helpful to other expecting moms! Childbirth is proof that women are amazing and strong, and while my birth story wasn’t what I had imagined, it was even better.

Note: out of respect for his privacy, we rarely post photos of Jamie’s face online. While I’ve made a few exceptions here to document the occasion, this post will be pretty text-heavy.

Our Birth Story

April 5 2019, 7:45 AM

Defied expectation #1: My water broke.

On the day before my due date, I was brushing my teeth when my water broke! I read a ton leading up to my labor, so I knew that it’s relatively rare for your water to break before your contractions start. Although it was a slower trickle (not the “gush” it sometimes is), I was pretty sure what was happening because it just kept leaking. I called my midwives’ office to let them know my water had broken. They instructed me to come in when I was in active labor, or after about 6 hours if my contractions hadn’t started by then.

Defied expectation #2: Contractions didn’t start within a few hours of my water breaking.

Like I mentioned before, I wasn’t expecting my labor to begin with my water breaking. However, I knew that when it did, contractions almost always begin within a few hours. This was NOT the case for me.

This ended up being a fun way to start out labor! We knew our baby would be coming soon, but we had a lot of time to get stuff ready. I wasn’t in pain at all while we picked up some groceries, packed up our car, cleaned the house, and took a final bump picture!

Defied expectation #3: The drive to the hospital was remarkably calm.

I always imagined the car ride to the hospital would be one of my least favorite parts of labor, but since I couldn’t feel anything yet, we just got to enjoy our ride – we were so excited! We took our time parking, strolled up to the L&D floor, took another picture, and checked in.

April 5 2019, 2:30 PM

Defied expectation #4: When I checked into the hospital, my pain level was almost zero.

Next, we filled out some paperwork and got taken back to triage. I remember the admitting nurse asking my my pain level (out of 10), and me replying, “Uh, maybe a two?” I was able to feel some contractions by this point, but if my water hadn’t broken, I would never have guessed that I was in labor!

They took me back to triage and did an exam. I was dilated to a 3 and partially effaced, so it looked like I was still in early labor. The hospital’s policy was not to admit people until they were either in active labor or had a confirmed rupture of membranes (i.e. water breaking). They ran a few tests but couldn’t confirm that my water had broken, and I didn’t want to start the induction process at this point, so we ended up hanging out in triage for a few hours.

April 5 2019, 7:00 PM

I got admitted after a few hours, since we got word that the hospital needed my triage room. This was a nice surprise, since the labor and delivery rooms were about 5 times the size of the triage rooms!

I still wasn’t feeling much pain; this is the point where I hopefully (and very naively) thought, “Maybe I’m one of the people who don’t feel labor pain – maybe labor won’t be painful for me!”. Spoiler alert: that wasn’t the case.

April 6 2019, 12:00 AM

By midnight, my contractions were starting to get noticeable. They were strong enough to wake me up when I was sleeping, and they increased in frequency and length, but everything was still very manageable. If my water hadn’t broken, I still may not have known I was in labor.

April 6 2019, 4:45 AM

Defied expectation #5: Almost 24 hours post- water-breaking, my contractions were still pretty painless.

Early in the morning, my midwife let me know that my contractions had spaced out from 2-3 minutes apart to 5-7 minutes apart. After another cervical check, I was 5cm dilated and 60% effaced (so I was progressing, but not in active labor yet).

Since it had been almost 24 hours and I wasn’t in active labor yet, our midwife recommended moving forward with Pitocin, due to risk of infection. (She had actually been in the exact same position when she delivered one of her own children, so she did a great job helping us weigh our options.) We decided that since my labor didn’t seem to be moving forward, starting Pitocin would be the best option.

Note: this whole “long labor” thing was REALLY unexpected. My mother had 4 extremely short labors (like, “we-can’t-give-you-an-epidural”, “I-almost-had-my-baby-in-the-living-room” short). I was preparing for the same!

Defied expectation #6: I started on a Pitocin drip.

April 6 2019, 9:45 AM

A few hours after the Pitocin drip started, labor really started to ramp up! My contractions were getting to be really painful and intense, and I was having a lot of trouble managing them. (It felt like they went from totally manageable to totally impossible in a span of about 30 minutes). Because of the Pitocin, my contractions didn’t really come in waves – they came on suddenly instead of gradually, so they really got on top of me! (It is a funny thing about labor that I know that this was the most pain I’ve ever been in, but I don’t actually have any memories of labor pain – those post-birth hormones are amazing!)

Soon, I started seeing signs that I was nearing transition (we learned about labor signposts in our Bradley book). I was losing the ability to talk between/during contractions, started feeling nauseous, and was strongly in the self-doubt mental phase. I asked for a cervical check around 9:45 AM to see what was going on because I felt I was progressing, and much to my dismay, I was STILL dilated to a 5 and not fully effaced. It felt like my contractions weren’t doing anything!

April 6 2019, 10:30 AM

Defied expectation #7: I received an epidural.

Since active labor can last 6-8 hours (or more!), I decided to get an epidural at this point. I felt that I wouldn’t have any energy left to push, and I was feeling discouraged about how much longer I would be in labor.

Note: the Bradley method warns against using cervical checks as evidence of labor progression. I probably should have listened because it turns out that I was right – I would be dilated to a 9 about an hour and a half later! Turns out those contractions were doing something after all!

The anesthesiologist came in and started the process. I didn’t realize (1) how long it would take (mine had to be inserted twice because they missed the first time) and (2) how terrible sitting completely still during this part of labor is. Once the epidural was in, I felt relief pretty much immediately.

An epidural was super not in my birth plan, but looking back, I know it was a good decision! The epidural thankfully didn’t cause any of the outcomes I was concerned about (c-section, other interventions, difficulty pushing). However, had I known how fast my active labor stage would be (and how awful a post-epidural spinal headache is), I may have opted against getting one. Our hospital offered nitrous oxide (“laughing gas”) for labor, so I may have chosen to go with that instead. Unfortunately, I can’t tell the future, so I’m happy with my decision!

April 6 2019, 11:45 AM

Defied expectation #8: About two hours after starting “active labor”, I was dilated to 9cm!

As soon as I got the epidural, I was able to sleep for about an hour. I woke up because the baby’s heart rate was dropping (which can be a side effect of both Pitocin and epidural anesthesia). My midwife flipped me over onto my other side, turned off the Pitocin, gave me an oxygen mask, and did a cervical check. Much to everyone’s surprise, I was almost fully dilated!

Because the baby’s heart rate stabilized and I was still comfortable, we ended up waiting another 2 hours or so to see if I got the urge to push. I never did, but since I could feel my contractions and was totally dilated by then, we decided to go ahead and start pushing!

April 6 2019, 1:45 PM

Defied expectation #9: Pushing was easy, rewarding, and fast!

Note: I did not say pushing was painless. At this point, I could feel my contractions again. Although the pain was totally manageable, the epidural was wearing off (I never pushed the button to increase the dosage). I think this was really helpful for pushing, since I could feel what I needed to do!

I knew that most first time moms take a while to get the hang of pushing, and that first time moms and moms with an epidural typically have to push for longer. Thankfully, I was able to get the hang of it pretty quickly and ended up pushing for just under an hour. (I credit that to all the Bradley Method practice Scott and I did leading up to labor!) My midwife was there for the entire pushing phase, and her encouragement and instruction were extremely helpful during this stage.

Because of the epidural, I wasn’t able to move around like I had planned. I had read about pushing while lying down increasing your risk of tears (because of the way it aligns your pelvis), so we tried the side-lying position. To my surprise, I really didn’t like it! It felt much less comfortable and much harder to push, so we switched back to lying on my back. We were able to have the bed tilted up so I was in more of a leaned-back squatting position; I do think that was helpful.

Defied expectation #10: Baby boy had tons of hair!

After what seemed like just a few minutes (but I think was around a half hour), Scott let me know that he could see the baby’s head! I remember him saying “Oh my gosh, Michelle, he has hair!” – another thing I wasn’t expecting at all! (I’m not sure why it was so unexpected, because I had hair when I was born and I had pretty bad heartburn during pregnancy.)

April 6 2019, 2:44 PM

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Defied expectation #11: We loved Jamie more immediately and more fully than we could have ever expected.

After a few more pushes, we could tell the baby was almost out! On my last push, I remember vividly the midwife saying, “Michelle, look down!”, then looking down and seeing my son right as he was born! I’m not sure that anything could have prepared me for how sweet and rewarding that moment is.

James “Jamie” Wilson was born at 2:44PM on April 6. He was 21″ long and 7lb 5oz.

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Immediately after birth, we did a “golden hour” of skin-to-skin, so Jamie was placed right on my chest. Any procedures were either delayed or done while he was on my chest. Jamie cried a bunch, looked very unsure about the world, nursed, and pooped alllll over me – but it was such a wonderful way to start our journey together! Our nurse took a ton of photos and videos from these first couple of moments, which are such a treasure!

After the cord stopped pulsing, Scott cut the cord, and I delivered the placenta. (We were also able to donate cord blood, even with the delayed cord clamping!) Jamie got measured and weighed (and peed all over the nurse), and then we got to snuggle some more.

Postpartum Recovery

A few hours after birth, we moved to the postpartum recovery room. I did have a lot of swelling (especially since I was on fluids for the Pitocin and epidural), and some soreness, but was pretty happy with how soon I was able to move around (mostly) normally. Our nurses in the postpartum unit were great; we got great care while we were there. After a few hours, our families were able to visit, and we got to enjoy a few really great days in the hospital getting to know Jamie!

I did end up with a really awful spinal headache (likely caused by a puncture during the epidural). It was pretty much debilitating for the first several days of my recovery. I visited my chiropractor 5 days after delivery, and she gave me an adjustment that completely eliminated the headache! (I am SO thankful we worked with such a great chiropractor throughout and after pregnancy. That adjustment alone was worth every penny!) The headache was bad enough that it will make me think twice about an epidural should I have another baby. It was a side effect that I knew was possible, but wasn’t really prepared for!

Other than the headache, my recovery was pretty quick and pretty easy! I only had a very small 1st degree tear during delivery, and no other complications. Aside from some very normal baby blues during the first week or so, I have felt really great emotionally as well!

Scott and I have been loving our last few months as new parents! We are so grateful that we have such a sweetheart angel baby (most of the time). Parenthood just keeps getting better and better, and I know that every moment of my labor was a moment that brought my son to me – and there is no better reward for such hard work!

Lessons Learned from My Birth Story

• You can prepare for everything, and still not be prepared for anything. I’ve never heard of anyone whose birth story was exactly what they expected.
• Education is empowering. I’m so glad I learned so much about the natural birth process (and the early postpartum stage) ahead of time! You can see some of my favorite childbirth resources here.
• You choose your parameters for success. While my delivery wasn’t the unmedicated one I was hoping for, I felt in control of the whole experience, and I felt that I made the right decisions, which means that I consider my birth story to be a successful one.
• Listen to your instincts! I knew the mental and physical signs of different stages of labor, and those ended up being a better marker of progression than dilation. I wish I had trusted what my body knew to be true!
• Birth stories are invaluable. I made sure to read stories with no interventions and stories with c-sections and everything in between. There’s a lot of power in knowing how many women have done this before!